I Was Never Kept. I Was Convenient.

🌍 EARTH – The Rooted One

God, I’m tired of not knowing who I am.

I’ve built my life in houses that were never homes.

Cooked meals in kitchens I didn’t feel safe in.

Laid in beds beside men who couldn’t hold my soul.

And now I’m standing in the rubble of what I once called love—

And I am not ashamed.

Because I gave. I tried. I stayed soft.

But I know now:

Being loyal in misalignment is not noble.

It’s exhausting.

And I release the belief that I have to earn being chosen.

From this soil, I rise.

This time, I will not plant my roots in shallow ground.

🌊 WATER – The Flow

I was never kept.

I was convenient.

A soft place to land. A warm meal. A loyal heart.

But who held me when I collapsed?

Who asked what I needed—when I gave everything I had?

I loved like an ocean and was given cups in return.

Empty gestures. Delayed apologies.

Weddings with no joy. Promises with no follow-through.

I should’ve been adorned. I was tolerated.

I cried over men who didn’t see the depth of me—

And now I weep for the parts of me I abandoned just to be wanted.

But I forgive her.

I forgive the woman who gave her body, her soul, her future—

just to feel worthy.

And I bless her, too.

Because even in the flood, she kept singing.

🔥 FIRE – The Flame

Let me make this clear.

Two divorces don’t make me broken.

They make me discerning.

I don’t wear shame. I wear armor now.

Tailored in truth.

Lined in grace.

Set on fire with revelation.

I’ve watched men fumble me.

Hold me like I was optional—while I treated them like destiny.

I’ve begged.

I’ve pleaded.

I’ve lowered myself just to be seen.

No more.

I am the prize.

I am the garden and the flame.

I will never again stay where I am tolerated.

I was not created to beg for love.

I am love.

🌬️ AIR – The Wind

For so long, I defined myself through their reflection of me.

And all the tiny compromises in between.

But when did I forget I had a name before they spoke it?

A calling before they clung to me?

A soul before they tried to mold me?

I was not created to orbit someone else’s emotional needs.

I was not born to be a background character in my own life.

So I inhale truth.

Exhale attachment.

And I ask the question that is reshaping my entire foundation:

Who am I when no one is watching?

✨ ETHER – The Divine

I saw it all, Daughter.

I was there on the wedding day when he refused to rise.

I was there in the courthouse where love felt like a transaction.

I was there when you wept in secret.

I saw the way you gave. I saw your heart.

And I want you to know:

None of it was wasted.

Every ounce of love you gave will be returned in double.

Every place you were overlooked will become a platform.

Every tear you cried is being turned into rain for your next garden.

You’ve never been hard to love.

You were just surrounded by people who couldn’t receive real love.

But I’ve been keeping score.

And the next chapter?

It’s already written in gold.

You were not created to survive on crumbs.

You were created to feast in covenant.

Now rise.

🕊️ A Word to Every Woman Reading This:

Before you give your time… your body… your spirit…

Pause and ask yourself:

Is this aligned, or is this familiar?

Is he choosing me with clarity, or is he simply not resisting me?

Am I being loved—or am I just being used gently?

Here’s how you start weeding men out:

✨ 1. Watch his initiation.

Not what he says—but what he does without prompting.

Does he lead in prayer?

Does he protect your peace?

Does he make room for your purpose—or just your presence?

🪞 2. Test how he handles your standards.

Misaligned men will call your boundaries “too much.”

Aligned men will call them exactly what they’ve been praying for.

So ask:

“What’s your view on emotional intimacy without sex?”

“How do you lead spiritually?”

“What’s your purpose in dating?”

Watch his face. Watch his spirit.

Discern his posture—not just his profile.

🌹 3. Get honest about how you feel around him.

Peace isn’t confusion.

Safety isn’t adrenaline.

God’s alignment will feel like breath—not bondage.

If you’re always anxious, shrinking, explaining, or questioning—

that’s not your husband. That’s your trauma reacting.

💌 Let This Be Your Reminder:

You are not hard to love.

You are not too much.

You are not asking for fairy tales—you are asking for fruit.

And you deserve real love, rooted in alignment—not desperation.

So here’s your challenge:

Stop offering wife access to men who don’t even qualify as partners.

Stop romanticizing men who wouldn’t survive one week leading your soul.

And most of all—

Stop betraying yourself just to be held.

The version of you that settles is not the version of you that God anointed.

Rise.